Posted by Chuck Saliva on 16. Dec 2009
Ni Hao, Chinese Chick and White Guy -
About six months ago, a 49-year-old Muslim man from Kuwait found me (a Chinese female) on the Internet and humbly greeted me. Later on, we met and he brought some gifts to me. We began to date and sometimes have sex.
He sends me messages often and says sweet things to me. He said that he'd like to be with me forever.
But I recently found out that he is a married man and his wife is about the same age as me. What's more, he has another middle-aged lover. Maybe he has more women. I just have no idea.
I got so pissed off, and he said he won't meet me anymore forever and he won't reply to my messages again.
I think that is his fault. He cheated my love and wasted my time, but he is so cruel to leave me. I have hatred inside. How should I do to calm down? Should I go to find him again?
CHINESE CHICK SAYS:
What an ass.
Don't go find him unless you want to kick him in the balls... if he has any.
Since he's not worth a second of your time, focus on getting your life back together. Go put in a movie at home or go out and see one (perhaps with a new date). You can eat some ice cream, get a haircut, scream, cry, go on a trip or get some retail therapy (my personal favorite).
While these are all simple things, they do help.
If you need drastic change, move to a different city and get a new job. But then again, he's probably not worth it.
The point is once you did all this, you can't be all dark and twisty a la "Gray's Anatomy" because this asshole took advantage of your vah jay jay.
There's nothing much to do, really. Just move on. On the positive side, it shouldn't be hard to do so after this asshole. Just remember if he comes crawling back to you, don't even look at him, but consider the idea of kicking him somewhere...
So, words of the wise to the 49-year-old creeper sharmout if you're reading: inshalla for your small eyre. May Allah forgive you.
WHITE GUY SAYS:
Look, he's never going to leave his wife for you. It doesn't happen, and don't even entertain the thought. So if you're in that situation, make sure you're getting what you want out of it because it's not going to be marriage and happily ever after.
It's going to be a guy who drops in every once in a while, drops cash on shopping and nice dinners and then drops a load down your throat.
I've had a few foreign friends who were willing mistresses: while they'd get gifts and nice dinners, all of them said the sex wasn't a big thing because the guys couldn't fuck for very long but would lick pussy for hours.
If that's what you're looking for, by all means go after him.
If you're not, however, be happy that he is not replying to your messages. The simple fact is there is nothing you can do. You were cheated and are right to be pissed off, but there is nothing you can do that is going to make it alright again.
You can think of revenge scenarios and have imaginary conversations in your head that end with him as hurt as you are, but it's just not going to happen.
He is an asshole that passed through your life and hurt you. All you can do is try to move on, forget him, and watch out for older men from out of town bearing gifts that don't want to talk about their family.
Hi, Chinese Chick and White Guy -
Question: Do you think you still love someone even when you don't feel physically attracted to them anymore?
I've always wondered, as my ex-boyfriend and I broke up because I couldn't keep up with his "physical demands," but we were so compatible in every other way: humor, opinions and attitudes towards life.
By the way, he's not a sex maniac.
CHINESE CHICK SAYS:
Ah, rough question.
First, if you are not physically attracted to him anymore, then no, you can't love him in a romantic way. But you can still love him as a friend, a brother or whatever else.
I'll be a pain in the butt and remind you that you should know him better than anyone else. If you guys really are compatible, he should want you back. I don't think he'd be able to be apart from you just because he couldn't turn you on five times a day (or is it more?)
If you guys are really good for each other, talk it out. Try counseling. (I'm sure that will make him lose his appetite.) If you two want to be together, it should work out.
If anything, take comfort in the fact that he'll just calm down later on in life.
WHITE GUY SAYS:
Of course you can still love him. Most married couples are like this. Sex serves every relationship for a while, but eventually the relationship serves the sex, as in you are having sex with whoever has decided, for one reason or another, to be with you.
However, if you are in a relationship and you're no longer attracted to them, that's often a sign of other problems. You could be losing interest in the person in general, growing bored and are looking for something else fresh and exciting.
I don't know what these "physical demands" are, but for the most part, guys in their early-twenties aren't looking to settle down:
They're looking to cum on, in, or near as many women (in as many different positions) as possible.
Even a perfect match can sometimes be scary, considering the idea of finding someone you could spend the rest of your life with probably means that you'll never get a chance to tittyfuck an African princess, throw it up a Albanian girl's poop chute or give a strapping young Norwegian-Indian lad a mushroom stamp.
Lots of young guys just aren't looking for love. If a guy is going to commit to only coming to you for his physical needs and you aren't going to satisfying them, he'll look elsewhere: fair or not.
Be happy he was honest with you instead of just fooling around.
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